my holiday

First a little rant. The instant we touched down the south african negativity ran amok. At the passport check a huge q ensued. All around me i heard complaints. It didnt take long for
the words 'chaos' and ' 2010' to be mentioned. It was like being trapped in a 'R' Rated bad movie were the hero says whats expected and pomps the pretty girl in the end, except i couldn't grin through it in the knowledge that soon i'lld get to see some boobies. It was excruciating. It took about 20 minutes to clear the q, and in that time between people with in my earshot i heard suggestions on how they could open more counters, move the escalator to alleviate the pile up ( yes move... magically move it), work 'quicker' was used a lot - my personal favorite, The Custom officials responsible for letting people enter our country. Get real. Its total fucken unacceptable to to winged a whine like a little school kid. I'll like to point out the following things to the unhappy south african spoilt brat travelers returning to Jo'burg international.
1) If you took a minute out of your self-centered pitiful existence to look around the airport you would have noticed that its being extensively renovated.
2) I have traveling in Africa, we are literally light-years ahead. Stop being a doos
3) It took us 30 minutes in the passport q on the England when we returned, but hey no one was complaining because there is this sense that we are 'lucky' to be allowed in.
4) If you believe you can run the passport q better then apply for a job there. Stop bringing everyone down with your superior attitude, you are no better than a street cleaner. In fact I bet you finger your own arse



Ok, now for the indented post
I thought it would be good to list a couple of things here that make south africa so great

I'll start with the simple one

S P A C E. Theres plenty of it. We live in actual houses, were a garden means business. We have a giant pool, mini garden cricket pitch, garage, drive way caravan, back yard with laundry and a vegetable garden. All of this,and we stay in Birch Acres. The shitty part. The roads are wider, the trees are bigger and more plentiful.The greenery great.


Windhoek Larger. I'll try not put any more of the things that money can buy in this list. Mansions and Maids are great but you can get them in most countries, and thanks to the availability of commercial flights so is Windhoek larger. So if you wanna get technical its not a south african thing, also its from Windhoek , so it has no frame of reference here dude....but because of its availability in virtually all bars and restaurants and because its my favorite - i'm putting it here. This is my commercial sell out, this is my ''Vodacom'' Bulls or ''Auto and General'' Lions as they are both officially know as on the super 14 table. Selling out sucks, but drinking 4% Reinheitsgebot brewed beer rules. Relax with a group of trusted friend and enjoy this premiere brewed beer. If theres a better sentence on a beer please email me.



Diversity.
Check this picture out Sanna took of me and her boet. This is africa it says, take it or leave it, we are not new we are just different. Unique. My dad says we were a hair breath away from civil war, i was too young to take note, i remember the carte blanche report on canned food shortages at the checkers warehouse and Pick'nPays , but was too young to worry. Only later was I able to value what we did, how close were were to a disaster situation. Yea I know the doomsayers will point out that it could still happen... 'look at zim' they'd say, 'breadbasket of africa' they'll cry. I know. We are not perfect, I doubt we'll ever be a first world country a western, economically sound, STABLE powerhouse. but we are who we are. We are a culmination of so many things, Handbags made of bottle tops, the coat hanger guys at the robots, the new bmws and old Nissan bakkies, large velds next to townhouse complexes, we are steering this ship on a new course, not the perfect or best course, certainly not, but we are steering this ship afloat. This ship has been through so much....

Old things that still work.
Take a look at this traffic light pedestrian go button. Its from the mutherfuken 1960's. And guess what it still works, there's no need to replace it cause it still works, there's no need to upgrade it cause its still works, basically what i'm getting at here is.... ah forget it. I love this rusting functioning piece of equipment.


Fruit and vegetables that not 'perfect'
Seriously, read this article. Why are our expectations so high, and more importantly does it make us any happier to have a straight, perfect carrot if we're not using it at a sex toy? NO. So that tomatoes is not
a ripe juicy red replica of an old plastic fruit display that my gran used to have. So what ...its still good in my books. Round about now i recon I'm trying to push this whole south African experience on you, I'm trying to convince you how great it is by pointing out the imperfections, but hear this, the imperfections are what makes us special. Also fruit is meant to be crooked and a bit scuffed, its abnormal and arguably unnatural to eat a perfectly round apple.


The average 'dudes'
London se poes. They harp on and on about diversity but when last did you actually meet someone who wasnt
a) a vagrant
b) on ecstasy at a club
c) a random saffa at walkabout.
The average person in south africa is cooler, and they smile more. They are approachable and they are genuine. Yea I know I;m generalizing, but I'm on a roll.